Helpful Advice

Hey everyone. This experience has taught Nick and myself a few things. One of them being that people don't seem to know how to deal with the fact that they know a person with cancer. We have ran into a bunch of people (some of them friends), who just don't know how to deal with the situation. So we came up with...

How YOU should handle knowing a person diagnosed with Cancer

1. Don't expect their normal to be the same as yours. People sometimes just don't understand the term, 'I have cancer'. Its as if they don't want to think that the person they know has a deadly disease that can end their life. So they block it out, and make it seem that there is no problem going on with their friend or family member. You need to realize and remember that their new normal is blood test, doctor appointments, the occasional ER visits, and weekly chemotherapy and/or radiation. Not bar hopping, tweeting, hanging out with friends, or anything YOU would consider the 'norm'.
2. Don't throw them a pity party. Its bad enough that in the beginning they get 'I'm sorry', from doctors and other people. Plus they are already scared and unsure of the future. If anything, say 'that sucks, whats the battle plan?', and be supportive. If you show no fear, they will fight to beat the disease.
3. This one is one of the most important things NOT to do. Don't say, 'I'm here for you, I'm your friend', and disappear. That goes for both friends AND family. If you live in another state or town that is over 2 hours away, you can utilize the social networks we have these days to check up on them, or you can call them. If you live less than an hour away, you can take time to go and visit them. If anything, see them during treatment. That will show them you truly care. If you have time to go out with non-diagnosed friends, shopping at the mall, or small day trips, then you have time to go and see them for at least 30 minutes. Especially if your near their area. Remember, THEIR life has been altered, NOT yours. So don't be a selfish @$$.
4. Don't get upset or dramatic when they need to cancel a get together, or simply can't go. Again, THEIR life had been disrupted, NOT yours. You are free to come and go with no worries. They have weakened immune systems and can't be in huge crowds or out for long. Plus they maybe having an off day. The drugs they take wreck havoc on their body so they are not feeling well half the time. If anything take a moment to go say 'hi' and see how they are doing, reschedule so they can go out for a while with you, or bring them a 'get well' gift. A movie, a silly toy, something to show you are thinking of them and they are missed.
5. Start a fund raiser for them. Cancer is expensive. Not many people realize this. The person may have to take a break from their job in order to receive treatment. And that means little or no paycheck. Bills, gas, food, everything becomes a life line that you have to choose to cut at times. And then things get complicated. To make things a little easier for them, help them by rallying some money so they can survive. Things are bad enough and the last thing they need is their electricity shut off.